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What It Looks Like vs. The Reality
High achievers are often celebrated in our society. They meet deadlines, exceed targets, and seem to juggle numerous responsibilities effortlessly. But beneath the polished exterior lies a different story—one often of constant pressure, self-doubt, and sacrifice.
Along with the commendable skills, personality, and work ethic of high achievers, anxiety often feels like a central aspect of attaining success. I’m here to tell you that success is possible without it being at the expense of your stress, health and happiness.
If you are a high achiever or interact with them often, it can be helpful to understand the dual nature of high achievement (the outward appearance and the inner reality) so that you can optimize the beneficial aspects and minimize the dynamics that are detrimental to a high achiever's well-being.
What High Achievement Looks Like
Meets Deadlines and Exceeds Targets
High achievers are known for their impeccable time management skills. They reliably deliver projects on time and often go beyond expectations. Their ability to consistently exceed targets makes them invaluable assets to any team or organization.
Recognized for Exceptional Performance
These individuals frequently receive accolades and recognition for their outstanding performance. Whether it’s an employee of the month award or praise during meetings, high achievers are often in the spotlight for their exceptional contributions.
Appears Confident and Composed
In meetings and presentations, high achievers project confidence and composure. They articulate their ideas clearly and persuasively, often leaving a lasting impression on their audience. Their poised demeanor makes them appear as natural leaders.
Balances Numerous Projects Efficiently
High achievers juggle multiple projects with remarkable efficiency. They manage their time and resources effectively, ensuring that each task receives the attention it needs. This ability to handle a heavy workload makes them seem almost superhuman.
The Hidden Reality of High Achievement
Constant Overwhelm and Fear of Failure
Despite their outward success, many high achievers experience constant overwhelm fueled by fear of failure, which serves as both a foundational source and a driving force behind their pursuit of success. This fear is closely intertwined with their self-esteem and identity, where success validates their worthiness and failures are deeply personal. The pressure to maintain high standards either stems from or contributes to this fear, with the constant worry that any mistake could tarnish their reputation and undo their hard work. While fear of failure motivates them to strive for excellence, it often comes at the cost of their well-being.
Struggles with Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is a common struggle among high achievers. A staggering 25-30% of high achievers may experience it. Despite their accomplishments, they often doubt their abilities and fear being exposed as a fraud. This internal battle can be mentally exhausting and diminish their sense of self-worth.
High Levels of Anxiety, Depression and Self-Doubt
Before things like presentations and important meetings, high achievers may experience significant anxiety and self-doubt. The pressure to perform perfectly can lead to sleepless nights and feelings of anxiousness.
In fact, research illuminates that high achievers are more likely to experience depression and anxiety. CEO’s have a rate double the national average and and many students in high-achieving schools have been found to have rates of clinical depression, anxiety and substance abuse significantly greater than the national average.
Sacrifices Personal Time and Well-Being
To meet their high standards, achievers often sacrifice their personal time and well-being. Long hours at work, skipped meals, and lack of sleep are common. Over time, this relentless drive can lead to burnout and physical exhaustion, impacting their health and personal life.
Finding Balance: Strategies for Sustainable Success
Acknowledge and Address Imposter Syndrome
Recognizing imposter syndrome is the first step toward overcoming it. High achievers should remind themselves of their past successes and seek support from mentors or peers. Professional counseling or coaching can also provide valuable tools to manage these feelings.
Prioritize Self-Care
Self-care is crucial for maintaining long-term success. High achievers should make time for activities that replenish their energy, such as exercise, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones. Setting boundaries to ensure a healthy work-life balance is essential.
It is understandable that many high achievers struggle with prioritizing anything that doesn’t appear to directly contribute to achieving their goals. However, reframing rest time, breaks, joyful activities and self-care as activities that in fact are core to being successful can be helpful. high achievers are often receptive to analogies such as conceptualizing time and energy as a phone battery that needs to be charged regularly in order to maintain power sustainably – the rest or self-care activity being the “charge.” Another impactful analogy is the “slingshot theory” or “archery analogy.” These explain how in order to propel forward, we must first pause and do something that feels like we are going slightly backwards.
Practice Mindfulness and Stress Management
Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can help high achievers manage stress and anxiety. Regularly taking breaks and disconnecting from work can also prevent burnout. It is often helpful to engage time-blocking and schedule time for these activities so that the high achiever doesn’t get anxious about not focusing on other priorities. Time-blocking, gives the high achiever permission to meditate since they know there is other designated time for focusing on main goals.
It can also be helpful for high achievers to use guided meditations, especially when first starting meditation; it helps prevent the mind from meandering or ruminating, reduces frustration, and prolongs concentration.
Set Realistic Goals and Delegate
High achievers should set realistic, attainable goals and avoid overcommitting themselves. Delegating tasks and trusting team members to share the workload can alleviate some of the pressure and create a more sustainable pace. However, delegation too requires getting over a fear of failure and submitting to releasing control, which can be a challenge for high achievers.
Conclusion
High achievement comes with its own set of challenges that often go unnoticed. While high achievers may appear confident, composed, and efficient, they frequently grapple with overwhelming pressure, self-doubt, and sacrifices that impact their well-being. By acknowledging these struggles and implementing strategies for balance, high achievers can sustain their success while maintaining their health and happiness.
It is possible for high achievers to obtain excellence without it harming their well-being. However, this requires self-awareness, a commitment to reframing their mindset, and consistently checking automatic behaviors in order to transform anxious achievement into healthier habits and thoughts. High achievers must rethink how they use their anxiety to their benefit. Instead they need to recognize how their many amazing strengths and qualities are the true drivers of their hard work and achievement, not their stress. They must not give in to ‘thought traps’ that are riddled with negativity biases and cognitive distortions, which fuel the tendency to anxiously achieve and function.
The patterns of high achievers have been reinforced over many years, sometimes decades, so of course it is to be acknowledged that adjusting the harmful elements of high achievement is easier said than done. But, with practice, consistency, dedication, and especially self-compassion, they can be reduced. Anxiety and all other emotions are just information, so understanding what the anxiety is trying to communicate, and understanding what exactly is worrisome can be extremely helpful.
By shedding light on the hidden reality of high achievement, we can foster a more empathetic understanding of the true cost of excellence and encourage healthier, more sustainable approaches to success.
References and Citations
Imposter Syndrome and its impact: Psychology Today
High achievers and anxiety: Harvard Business Review
Mindfulness practices: American Psychological Association
Burnout and self-care: Forbes
Emotional Well-Being and the High Achiever: Psychology Today
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